If you stop being so chaotic and full of fuckery, I will buy you ice cream.
I swear to whatever god is manipulating you into this twisted nonsensical pretzel, that the amount of ice cream will be enough to pacify you.
I don’t give a fuck if you’re vegan, I’ll buy that expensive coconut shit or whatever it is that makes up for the lack of dairy.
If I have to sell my soul to whatever evil counterpart of your deity to afford it, I fucking will.
Just please, stop with the massive amount of skewed occurances, and it’ll be worth your while, despite the sugar coma and early onset of diabetes.